Divorce Experiences: Then and Now

For many adults going through a divorce, this one is not their first. Divorce has been a very common occurrence in marriages across the United States for decades, and even though the annual number of divorces has somewhat declined recently, it's not something that will ever stop happening altogether. It touches a broad range of individuals, whether they chose to participate in it or not. Children, in particular, experience divorce in such a way that coats their entire way of understanding and engaging in relationships now and through adulthood. As a Divorce Coach and someone who has experienced divorce in various stages of her life, Laura Bonarrigo recognizes the effect that a divorce can have on a young person. She poses a thought-provoking question in her blog, "Will my divorce be as terrible as my parents'?"

For adults, speculating on the outcome of one's divorce is a common worry for those who have experienced it once before as a child. The memories that you maintain from this time from your childhood have probably helped to form at least some of your views on the current situation you face whether you realize it or not. "Most kids know way more than we give them credit," Laura explains. "Intuitively they know what's going on, and they get the circumstances." Whether they are put directly in the middle of their parents' disputes or experience their conflict inadvertently, they see what is happening and learn from these early understandings of relationships. As a parent, it may be painful to know that your child is going through this too; however, as Laura explains, you just cannot completely dictate your child's perception of this experience. "They have a different take on it and are navigating the transition differently but just like with learning to read and write, play sports or fall in love, you can't do it for them." 

Coming to terms with a divorce that touched your life early on may take much more time than you might expect, especially if you find yourself facing similar circumstances in your adult relationship later in life. As someone understands this experience, Laura dedicates her time towards helping adults in this situation to not only cope but learn how to thrive again after divorce. Read her article and learn about how you might navigate your divorce in such a way that helps both you and your children cope differently than you might have in a previous divorce experience.