Four Tips to Improve Parenting Communication Skills

After a difficult separation or divorce, it can be hard for former partners to maintain any kind of relationship. Yet in situations where children are involved, parenting does not end even if the relationship does. Therefore, working to build and maintain positive parenting communication skills is valuable for any parent, even if they happen to be separated or divorced. If you find yourself feeling as though you could improve your parenting communication skills, here are four tips to consider.

 

It might not be easy, but it is important to share important information about your children with your co-parent. When you do communicate, keeping the conversation focused on parenting-related matters will help to relieve some of the pressure of having to converse with each other. Maintain your thoughts on what needs to be discussed about your children, not about old arguments or your personal lives. Share what needs to be shared, and save your other thoughts for a more appropriate time and place. Working with a professional such as a family counselor or therapist can give you a safe space to express and work through your emotions during this tough time. If you happen to have something on your mind that has to do with the legal aspects of parenting after divorce, you should consider bringing that to the attention of your attorney before discussing with anyone else.

 

Children are constantly growing and evolving, and their agendas become more complex all the time. When parents aren't on the same page about important details concerning their kids ranging from their everyday schedules and clothing sizes to vital medical details, the children may experience negative consequences as a result. Being able to keep each other updated on matters concerning the children is a beneficial parenting communication skill to practice because it helps to ensure better outcomes for the children. One easy way that co-parents can do so is by using a shared tool to keep parenting communication and other details concerning the kids organized and accessible. Maintaining shared records that are frequently updated will assure parents that they are both referring to the same information for their children instead of running the risk of using different or outdated records. Moreover, having it all in one place as opposed to searching for details in dozens of long emails or text message strings will make finding the right information faster for both parents. 

 

Listening plays a huge role in communication in any relationship, even in parenting after divorce. It's a huge responsibility to raise children in one or multiple homes, and often times, parents share the task of having to make big decisions for their kids. If parents are trying to make decisions by just talking at each other, it will be hard to make much progress on reaching resolutions. Instead, taking turns speaking and listening will help each parent to understand where the other is at and could lead to joint decisions being made more quickly and successfully. Sometimes, parents might find it easier to do this when using a written means of communication or another tool that helps break down certain request to just the facts with less room for frivolous other comments to be made. 

 

It's easy to sometimes let words slip out without giving much thought to their consequences, but doing so runs the risk of negative results. Parenting communication after separation or divorce can have many emotions surrounding the situation, but it is important that each parent does their best to be cordial for the sake of their children. One skill to put into practice involves taking a moment to think about what to say before speaking. Contemplate how best to express what you need to in the most productive way possible, as to not engage in any more conflict. While written means of communication can help you to see what you'll say before actually saying it, it is valuable to thoroughly access your tone. The OurFamilyWizard® co-parent communication tools include a message board with a built-in tool to help analyze the tone of your message. ToneMeter™ will give you feedback about how your tone may be received and give you a chance to reframe it before sending. 

 

Parenting communication skills are all built up by continuing to put them into practice. If you feel as though improving your skills could use a little extra support, family professionals can be a great help in getting your communication where you want it to be. Moreover, the right tools to support your communication efforts can also be quite useful. The OurFamilyWizard® website and tools have been helping to improve parenting communication for more than fifteen years. Click here to learn more about how these tools can help you to improve your parenting communication skills.