How Co-Parents Can Travel Out of State With Kids for the Holidays

Can you take your kids out of state for Christmas or Thanksgiving? Yes, you can often travel out of state with kids to visit family, even for holidays, but your custody order or parenting plan decides what comes first. Read your order before you book.

Then send your co-parent a written plan with dates, addresses, phone numbers, and your return time.

Holiday travel is stressful even without a co-parent in the picture. AAA's Thanksgiving travel forecast projected that 81.8 million people would travel at least 50 miles from home over Thanksgiving 2025, a count of all travelers, not just families. Expect crowded roads and airports.

Add an angry reply from your ex or even a flat-out denial, and a simple trip can feel heavy. This guide covers what to check, how to tell your co-parent, what to pack, and how to keep the holiday calm for your kids. If you're heading abroad, you'll also find passport and consent letter basics for international trips.

Check your custody order before you travel out of state with kids for holidays

Your custody order or parenting plan decides which holiday dates are yours and what you need to do before leaving the state. Some orders ask for consent or advance notice, and others say nothing about travel. Either way, start with your order before you spend any money. "Check your parenting plan before buying those nonrefundable tickets!" Peta Kerr, parenting coordinator, co-parenting coach, and founder of Passcode to Parenting, told OurFamilyWizard in an interview.

This article is general information, not legal advice. Court orders and state laws vary. If any wording in your order is unclear, talk to your family law attorney for advice and next steps.

What to look for in your custody order before holiday travel

Look for any section about holidays, vacations, out-of-state travel, or contact with the other parent. "Out-of-state or international travel may have specific requirements for notice, consent, itineraries, or passports," says Kerr.

Court forms often ask parents to settle these details ahead of time. Maryland's 2020 sample court parenting plan includes a clause requiring written notice before out-of-state travel, with an itinerary and phone numbers. That form leaves the number of notice days blank for parents to fill in. It's one state's sample, so your plan's timeline may differ.

Key point: These are the parts of your order worth rereading before you plan holiday travel with kids.

• Any travel clause about consent or notice
• The holiday rotation and which years each parent has each holiday
• Exact start and end times for holiday parenting time
• Rules about calls or video chats with the other parent

Holiday dates matter as much as travel rules. Check whether your plan gives the holiday schedule priority over the regular schedule. These holiday custody schedule examples show common ways families split the season. If your plan gives you Thanksgiving in odd years, a trip in an even year would need your co-parent's written agreement first.

What if you don't have a parenting plan for holiday travel yet?

If you don't have a parenting plan yet, create one before the holidays. Every co-parenting situation needs a parenting plan that spells out the details, and holidays are where vague details cause the most arguments.

Write the exact holiday days and times into the plan, along with how travel will work. This guide to what to include in a parenting plan walks through holidays and vacations. A mediator or family law attorney can help you put it in writing and explain whether to file it with the court.

What if your custody order doesn't mention travel?

If your custody order doesn't mention travel, getting your co-parent's written consent is still a good idea. A silent order may leave room for disagreement later. A signed note with the dates and destination gives you both a record.

"Communicate early, provide the required information, and if you’re unsure what your court order allows, check with your attorney before booking," says Kerr.

Our guide to out-of-state travel consent requirements explains what to put in a consent letter. It also explains why signing it in front of a notary can help.

What the UCCJEA means for out-of-state custody

The UCCJEA is a uniform state law that helps decide which state's court handles a custody case. Its full name is the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. Having "jurisdiction" means that court is the right court to hear and decide about the case.

A 2001 federal guide to the UCCJEA from the Department of Justice explains that the Act decides which state's courts have jurisdiction over custody. It does not set custody standards. The guide describes a child's "home state" as where the child lived with a parent for at least six months before a custody case began.

The UCCJEA doesn't grant permission to travel or replace the travel terms in your order. Each state has its own version of the law, so talk to a family law attorney about how it applies to you.

How to tell your co-parent about holiday travel plans

Tell your co-parent in writing as early as you can, and include every detail they'd need to reach the kids. Early notice gives them time to ask questions and adjust their own plans.

Writing also gives you both the same record. Messages sent with documented co-parent messaging, part of the OurFamilyWizard co-parenting app, cannot be edited or altered. Nobody has to argue later about what was said.

What to include in a holiday travel message to your co-parent

Include the travel dates, destination, and contact details in one clear message. A single message is easier for your co-parent to read and easier for you to point back to.

• Departure and return dates, with times
• The address where you and the kids will stay
• Phone numbers where the kids can be reached
• How you're traveling, including flight numbers
• Any change to the usual exchange time or place
• A proposed schedule for calls or video chats

Here's a short example: "I'm planning to take Sophie to my sister's home in Denver, December 26–30. We leave the morning of the 26th and return by 5 p.m. on the 30th." Add the address and a call time, then stop. Leave out comments about past trips or your co-parent's plans.

Once you agree, add the trip to your shared co-parenting calendar in the app so both homes see the same dates. If travel comes up every year, write a clause into your plan about how trip details get shared. These vacation clauses in parenting plans show how other families word it.

What to do if your co-parent objects to holiday travel

If your co-parent objects or goes silent, answer only the logistics and offer a fair trade in writing. Holidays carry big feelings. An angry reply is often about missing time with the kids more than about your trip.

If Mateo's dad writes, "You always do this, and Christmas Eve is with my family," check the order before you answer. If Christmas Eve is his this year, change your dates. If it's yours, reply: "The plan gives me Christmas Eve this year, but I can offer Mateo an extra evening with you December 28."

When you're upset, ToneMeter, also part of the OurFamilyWizard app, can flag wording that may sound harsh before you send it. If there's no reply, send one short follow-up with a date you need an answer by. If your co-parent keeps blocking a trip you believe your order allows, a mediator or family law attorney can explain your options.

Documents to pack when you take kids out of state

Pack a copy of your custody order, any written consent, your kids' health insurance cards, and contact details for both parents. These papers show what you and your co-parent agreed to if anyone asks.

Washington State's guide to REAL ID rules for kids says TSA does not require children under 18 to show ID on domestic trips. Airlines can set their own rules, so ask yours what it needs. Adults still need a REAL ID or another accepted ID to fly.

Paper copies can get lost in a suitcase. The Info Bank, part of the OurFamilyWizard app, lets you store travel documents securely where both parents can find them.

Traveling internationally with kids for the holidays

Yes, co-parents can often take kids abroad for the holidays, but a trip overseas takes more planning than a drive across state lines. Your child will need a passport, and both your custody order and your destination country may add rules.

As with any trip, check your custody order first and share your plans in writing. This section is general information, not legal advice, so talk to a family law attorney before you book a trip abroad.

Passports for kids under 16 need both parents' consent

For children under 16, both parents or guardians generally need to approve a US passport application. Under the State Department's passport rules for children under 16, both parents or guardians must be present with the child or give approval. A parent who can't attend must sign Form DS-3053, a Statement of Consent, in front of a notary. It goes in with your child's application within 90 days of notarization.

Passports for children under 16 are valid for 5 years. Processing times change, so apply early and check current times at travel.state.gov. Sole custody papers and other documents can change who needs to sign, so read the State Department's guidance for your situation.

If Zoe is 12 and her passport expires in March, start a new application with your co-parent in the fall. A passport for a child under 16 can't be renewed like an adult's, so you'll both likely need to consent again.

Carry a consent letter from your co-parent when traveling abroad with kids

If you're traveling abroad with your child and without your co-parent, carry a signed consent letter from them. DHS guidance on traveling overseas says that when a child travels with only one parent, that parent should have a note from the other parent. The State Department's travel with minors page adds that in some countries, a parent traveling alone with a child may need a notarized letter from the other parent or proof of sole legal custody.

USAGov's page on travel documents for children says a child traveling with one parent may need a letter of consent. It adds that a letter in English and notarized is preferred. That's a preference rather than a universal rule, so ask your destination what it expects.

Check your destination country's rules for kids traveling abroad

Check your destination country's entry rules for minors before you book, because they vary. According to the State Department travel with minors page, the United States doesn't require proof of both parents' permission for a minor to travel abroad. Some countries do, though.

In some countries, a parent traveling alone with a child may need a signed, notarized letter from the other parent or proof of sole custody. USAGov suggests contacting the embassy or consulate of the country you'll visit to ask about consent letters and entry rules.

How custody orders can limit international travel with kids

Your custody order may limit international travel, so read it before you plan a trip abroad. The State Department child abduction FAQ says court orders may prohibit international travel or require court approval to take a child out of the country. Orders may also set visit dates or have a court or neutral third party hold a child's passport.

The same FAQ notes that the US has no exit controls. Without specific travel limits in an order, airlines and law enforcement may not be able to stop a trip. Clear wording in your order protects both parents, because everyone knows the rules ahead of time.

The Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program lets the State Department contact an enrolled parent when someone applies for their child's US passport. It's only for US citizen children under 18. The same State Department child abduction FAQ notes that enrolling doesn't guarantee a passport won't be issued, and that the program is not a way to track the use of a passport.

If you want travel limits added to your order, or a current limit no longer fits, talk to your family law attorney for next steps.

What the Hague Abduction Convention means for co-parents traveling abroad

The Hague Abduction Convention is an international treaty that works to return a child who is wrongfully taken or kept in another country. The goal is simple: Custody questions should be decided by a court in the country where the child usually lives.

The State Department's Hague Abduction Convention basics explain that it covers children under 16 and works only with treaty partner countries. Filing a case doesn't guarantee a child's return, and US court orders may not be recognized in other countries.

Knowing these basics helps you and your co-parent set travel terms you're both comfortable with. If you have questions about a specific country, a family law attorney can explain how the treaty may apply.

What to do if your co-parent is hesitant about a trip abroad with the kids

If your co-parent is hesitant about a trip abroad, ask what worries them and answer each concern in writing. A trip overseas can feel much bigger to the parent staying home. Distance and unfamiliar rules can raise real worries, even when nobody has done anything wrong.

If Noah's mom writes, "I'm not comfortable with him leaving the country," skip the debate and ask what would help. Then offer specifics: The full itinerary, your return flight confirmation, a set video call schedule, and a consent letter she can review first. You might also agree in writing on a firm return date.

If she still says no and your order requires her consent or court approval, you may need to wait or ask the court. Keep the whole conversation in documented messages so you both have the same record. A mediator or family law attorney can explain your options.

Getting kids there safely by car or plane

Most holiday travelers drive, so correct car seats and a plan for breaks matter most. AAA's year-end travel forecast projected 122.4 million Americans would travel at least 50 miles over the 2025 year-end holidays. AAA expected 89% of all those travelers to take road trips.

Car seat safety for kids on a holiday road trip

Buckle every child into the right seat for their size, in the back seat, on every leg of the trip. According to the CDC, in 2023, 1,019 child passengers ages 14 and younger were killed in U.S. motor vehicle crashes, and 43% of those killed were not buckled up. The good news is that the CDC child passenger safety guidelines are simple to follow: They advise keeping children buckled in the back seat until age 13 and never placing a rear-facing seat in the front.

Car seat laws differ by state, so follow your seat's manual and check the rules where you're headed. If the kids switch cars at an exchange, confirm the other car has the right seat installed.

Flying with kids for the holidays, including kids flying alone

If your child will fly alone between homes, call the airline well ahead to ask about unaccompanied minor service. The DOT tips for flying families say most airlines offer this service, and it may be mandatory depending on a child's age. The Department of Transportation adds that airlines generally charge a substantial fee.

If Ava is flying from California to her dad's home in New Hampshire for New Year's, agree in writing on who drops her off and who meets her flight. Settle on a backup plan in case the flight is canceled. Put flight numbers and times on the shared custody calendar so neither of you is guessing.

Keep kids connected to their other parent while you're away

Set a call or video schedule before you leave so kids know when they'll talk to their other parent. Court parenting plan forms, like Maryland's, ask parents to decide how kids will stay in touch with the other home. Agreeing on times early avoids a tense call in the middle of holiday dinner.

Time zones can throw off a normal routine. If Liam usually calls his mom at 7 p.m. Eastern in Boston, that's 5 p.m. Mountain time in Denver, right when the family meal starts. Move the call to 6 p.m. MT / 8pm ET, and put the new time in your travel message.

Keep the calls easy for your child. Let Liam share whatever he wants about the trip, and give him some privacy if you can. If a call is unavoidably missed, send your co-parent a quick note and offer a new time.

For more ways to plan ahead, read about traveling with kids after divorce.

Make the holiday feel special for kids away from home

Bring one or two familiar traditions along so the trip still feels like your family's holiday. A favorite ornament or a holiday movie night can travel almost anywhere.

Tell your kids the plan a few days ahead, including where they'll sleep and when they'll talk to their other parent. For younger kids, pack a comfort item like a blanket or stuffed animal. It can make a guest room feel more like home.

The other home can share in the holiday, too. If Nora will miss Christmas morning with you, the two of you might plan a second celebration when she gets back. Talk about gifts ahead of time so presents aren't doubled up or left at the wrong house.

Conclusion: A written plan keeps co-parenting holiday travel calm

When you travel out of state with kids for holidays, a written plan does most of the work. Start with your custody order, then send your co-parent the dates, address, phone numbers, and call times in one message. Pack the key documents, including passports and a consent letter for trips abroad, and keep the other parent part of the holiday.

The clearer your plan is on paper, the less there is to argue about. That leaves more room for what matters most: Making sure your kids have a great trip.

Your next step is simple. Put the trip on your shared custody calendar today, and send your co-parent the full itinerary.

FAQ about traveling out of state with kids for the holidays

These quick answers cover the holiday travel questions co-parents ask most. Each one is general information, so check your own order first.

Do I need my ex's permission to take my child out of state for the holidays?

It depends on your custody order or parenting plan, which may or may not require consent or notice. If the wording is unclear, ask a family law attorney before you book travel.

How much notice should I give my co-parent before holiday travel?

Give at least whatever notice your order or parenting plan requires, and give it as early as you can. That leaves time for questions and changes before the holiday rush.

Do kids need ID to fly within the US?

TSA does not require children under 18 to show ID on domestic flights. Airlines may have their own rules, so ask yours before you fly.

What can I do if my co-parent won't agree to holiday travel?

Keep your request in writing and offer a trade, like a make-up day. If you're still stuck, a mediator or family law attorney can explain your options.

Can my child fly alone to the other parent's home for the holidays?

Many children can fly alone through an airline's unaccompanied minor service, which may be required depending on age. Rules and fees vary by airline, so call well ahead of your trip.

Do I need my co-parent's consent to get my child a passport?

For children under 16, both parents generally need to consent, and a parent who can't attend can sign Form DS-3053 before a notary. Sole custody papers can change this, so check the State Department's rules for your situation.

Can I take my child out of the country for the holidays?

You often can, but your custody order may limit international travel, and some countries ask for the other parent's consent. Check your order and your destination's rules, and ask a family law attorney if anything is unclear.