Raising Great Kids Together

Raising kids is a serious task that takes consistent effort by both parents, no matter the family situation. Parents who are divorced or separated may find it to be more difficult or even frustrating to balance the responsibilities of raising kids across two homes. It truly is possible for co-parents to raise happy and healthy kids together, and doing so is made easier when both parents are willing to combine their efforts for the sake of their kids. A steady daily routine, fair discipline practices and consistent communication are all strategies that co-parents can take to simplify the task of raising great kids together.

Kids are like sponges, soaking up new information about how to live everyday. While learning new life skills is exciting for kids, they also tend to be somewhat afraid of the unfamiliar. Co-parents raising great kids together can ease those fears of the unknown by developing a steady daily routine for their children and sticking to it. In both of your children's homes, maintain a consistent schedule of events such as family dinner time, homework time, reading time and bedtime. Even if they don't always like their scheduled bed time, kids find comfort in routine and in knowing what to expect out of their day. Also, make time in the routine for lessons that teach your kids new skills like a new language, music or sports. As time goes on and they begin to excel in their new skill, they will realize the fruits that come from consistent work and self-discipline.

Setting a daily routine is helpful in instilling life skills in your kids, but it is also important that they understand rules and how they factor into everyday life. Teaching your children to have respect for laws and rules begins at home. If your children divide their time between two homes, it will be easier for them to remember and understand rules if you and your co-parent practice similar methods of discipline. There are many approaches that parents can take to disciplining their kids, but a good approach to discipline is one that places mutual respect and conversation at the forefront in dealing with problems. Kids tend to have higher self-esteem and fewer problems with depression if they are raised in households with firm rules and consequences, and by parents who take extra time to talk through these rules with their kids. Children will better understand their actions and be able to make their own choices if they understand the repercussions behind them. It is okay if you and your co-parent have somewhat different parenting styles, but keeping some level of consistency in discipline will help to give your kids a sense of balance, and an understanding of what to anticipate in both of their homes.

As much as a consistent routine and rules between homes helps in raising great kids together, maintaining communication as a family is equally as important. Encourage your kids to talk to you without any fear of judgement or scorn on your part. Engage them in conversations about their day, their emotions, their likes, and their dislikes. A healthy conversation involves talking as well as listening, so teach your kids to be good listeners by sharing your own thoughts with them as well. Kids who are able to speak freely at home can take their healthy conversation skills and apply those to conversations with peers or when meeting new people. While talking to your kids is important in raising them to be great, it is also important that you and your co-parent find ways to talk to each other. Maintain an open line of communication that focuses on the well being of your kids. If you share parenting time and are dropping your kids off at your co-parent's house, take a few minutes to give your co-parent an update on how things went during your parenting time. Also, find time every once in a while to reaffirm your mutual aspirations and goals for your kids. A foundation in raising great kids together is created by having a set of collective ambitions for how you envision your kids in the future, and keeping these goals in mind will help to guide you in making decisions as co-parents.

Parenting in general is a lot of work, and the effort may feel amplified when it is being done across two homes. Raising great kids together as co-parents is entirely possible, and the choices that parents make jointly and separately will influence the outcome of this task. Keeping your kids on a consistent daily routine, using fair methods of discipline and maintaining lines of communication are all ways to simplify raising great kids together as co-parents.