Divorce Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

No matter which way you look at it, divorce is a complex process. No person's situation is exactly the same as another's, so every divorce case is different. Even if you best friend or sibling went through a divorce, your experience is bound to be unique in comparison. However, there are some common divorce mistakes that every person going through this experience should avoid. Here are a few of these divorce mistakes explained and tips on how you can better avoid making them.

You haven't educated yourself on the process. For a lot of people going through their first divorce experience, you probably don't quite know what to expect. You might have talked to divorced friends to see what they had to deal with, but don't begin to think that your experience will be anything like theirs. Assuming that every divorce is the same is a mistake that you should avoid at all costs because these expectations could easily lead you down a path of confusion and disappointment. Avoid this mistake by seeking information yourself. You can do some research online on your local court's website to learn more about forms you may need to fill out and what the costs of filing fees are. You can also check out websites that give you information about divorce laws by state. Nevertheless, your attorney will be the best person to ask questions to which pertain to your situation in particular. They will be able to get to know your situation, answer your questions, and give you some insight into what your case may entail. 

You're not being honest. In a divorce, facts are important. Facts about why you're divorcing, facts about assets and property, facts about your kids, and so much other information needs to be taken into account. If you're not being honest about this information, you could be falling down a path that makes the situation even more complicated for you in the end. Avoid this mistake by being honest with your attorney. Provide them with every bit of information they need in order to give you the best representation possible. More than just being honest with your attorney, be honest with yourself. Be realistic about the situation and what you want when it's all over. 

Your priorities are out of order. It can feel like there is a lot on the line in a divorce case. You may want to keep as much as you can in terms of assets, money, and property; however, if you share children with your ex-spouse, you must also consider them as a big topic to cover in your case. One divorce mistake that many people face is having their priorities out of order as they work on their case. Avoid this mistake by deciding what your priorities are early on. If kids are in the picture, maintaining their well-being should default to be your number one priority. After that, consider your needs versus your wants when it comes to other items you share. You may want to keep your house, but will you be financially able to maintain it on your own? Is it worth fighting for the care your shared in a courtroom and spending tons of money on legal fees when you could have just bought yourself a new vehicle? Your attorney can help you evaluate these items, or you may even consider enlisting help from a financial advisor who is specially trained in divorce-related issues. 

Your emotions are all over the place. It's normal to experience a plethora of emotions during a divorce process, but an easy mistake to make is to let these feelings get the best of you. Making decisions when your emotions are out of control, you can end up making decisions that you might come to regret later. This can be particularly damaging when making important decisions about this having to do with your kids or with money. These kinds of resolutions should be reached when your mind is sound, and you have the right information and support from your professionals in order to make an educated decision. It is possible that you might not end up with everything that you wanted in your divorce case, but controlling your emotions and remaining calm is more likely to work in your favor than being overly angry or dramatic.  

You're not observing your kids. A divorce is a lot for a kid to go through. They are often left feeling confused, disappointed, and even scared for what lies ahead. As a parent, you need to keep in mind that your kids need constant and consistent love and support throughout this process. They need to be reminded that you and their other parent still love them the same as you always have. They need to see you as their parent as strong and assured of your decisions throughout this process; this will help your kids to feel less afraid or unsure as you transition into a new family structure and parenting time schedule. Keep the conversation going with your kids. Ask them about their feelings, and observe their habits for anything possibly concerning. If you notice that one or all of your kids are having an especially difficult time handling this process, consider enlisting help from a mental health professional who can talk with your children and teach them healthy ways to cope with their emotions. 

Making mistakes during a divorce happens to the best of people, so it's not abnormal to find yourself in one or more of these situations in various occasions. One of your best pieces of armor to shield yourself against these mistakes is to educate yourself and keep them in mind throughout your divorce. If you can recognize yourself making one of these mistakes, you have a better chance of being able to correct your behavior and turn the situation around. As always, consult your legal and mental health practitioners such as your attorney, mediator, therapist, or counselor to help address your specific questions about your case and the well-being of your family throughout this process. 

The OurFamilyWizard® website was created with tools to help families to manage parenting schedules, shared expenses, family information, and so much more. Take a step towards moving your family forward after divorce or separation, and sign up today!