Healthy Communication Between Divorced Parents

After a divorce, communicating with an ex-spouse can be difficult and unpleasant.  The ways that you used to communicate with each other may no longer be effective now that your relationship situation has changed.  Blowing this issue off right from the beginning is not a healthy route to take, especially when you both are caring for your kids.  Healthy communication between divorced parents is possible, and it starts by finding the right tone and method of delivery.  

Tone of voice can direct which direction a conversation will go.  Between divorced parents, this important detail can be forgotten too quickly.  Healthy communication between divorced parents is greatly reliant on the tone in which each parent chooses to engage.  Keeping a professional tone when conversing helps to keep any strong emotions out of the conversation.  Communicate with your co-parent in the same tone you would with a co-worker—be cordial, clear and fair-minded.   When you speak face-to-face or over the phone, listen to the dynamics of your voice.  Keep in mind that the way you say something can change the way the message is perceived by the listener.  Choosing the right tone of voice is good to practice in every conversation you have.  It certainly can help lead to healthy communication between divorced parents.

Healthy methods of communication are easy to find; it’s a matter of finding the best method of delivery between you and your co-parent.  Start by always remembering to stay focused on the topic at hand when communicating.   Control yourself from steering the conversation elsewhere by planning ahead and staying fixed only what you are discussing in the moment.  This is where using written methods of communication, like messaging, can be most useful.  You will have a chance to review and edit what you are communicating before actually sending your message.  

Being mindful of your tone and word choice when conversing is key to practicing healthy methods communication, especially between divorced parents. At the OurFamilyWizard website, we want to help divorced parents find healthy ways to communicate.  Parents who use OurFamilyWizard for communication can be assured that a full record of their correspondence will always be stored and documented on the website.  Also, parents can choose to use ToneMeter when composing messages on the website. ToneMeter will analyze any new message that is composed and highlight phrases that could be perceived as emotionally-charged.   This gives the author a chance to review and reevaluate the tone of the message before sending.   Click here to learn more about ToneMeter and the OurFamilyWizard Message Board.