Ways to Connect With Your Kids

Transitions are often hard for kids to deal with, especially when it has to do with their family. Finding out that their parents are getting divorced or separated is devastating news for any kid. They begin to worry about lots of things including whether or not they will stay connected with both of their parents. During and after a divorce or separation, co-parents must find ways to manage their shared parenting responsibilities, and one of these involves staying connected with the kids when they are with or not with them. Whether you share parenting time equally or not, finding ways to connect with your kids as you make this transition will help to build the foundation for positive parent-child relationships moving forward. Here are five tips for ways to connect with your kids.

• Keep a Consistent Schedule. Kids need to trust that their parents are dependable, and one way to build that trust is to keep a consistent schedule of times that you communicate with your kids. When you are not physically with your kids, maintain a scheduled time that you will call, video chat, or communicate through other means with them. This scheduled conversation time creates a great opportunity to connect with your kids about how their day was and to get a feel for how they are doing emotionally. It's also a good chance for your kids to get that same information about you, as they care about both of their parents and their well being. When you do have your kids, you should maintain this scheduled connection time, but you may approach it differently. You might chat with your kids after school or during dinner, or you might work on homework together. They might not even realize that you have this scheduled communication time set, but they'll grow to depend on it.
• Play Together, Play Often. Playing with your kids is a great time to connect while doing something fun. Moreover, it's a great opportunity to help develop your child's skill set. In an article for Psychology Today, Dr. Darcia Navarez wrote about the benefits of parent-child play. Dr. Navarez explained that one of the benefits specific to parent-child play is that it can help improve a child's social skill set and lead to early social interactions. She also said that a parent's adult knowledge of the world can open up the imagination of a child in different ways that playing with other kids cannot offer. Playing doesn't just benefit the kids, though. Dr. Navarez also explained that playing with your kids releases the hormone oxytocin which plays a big role in parent-child bonding. She wrote, "Think of it as a relaxing massage for your mind that you don't have to pay extra for!" For these reasons, making time to connect with your kids by often playing together can benefit the bond that you both share while also helping your kids learn new, important life skills.
• Connect One-On-One. When you have more than one child, connecting with your kids all together is great. Even so, it is very important to have some one-on-one time with each of your kids. It provides an opportunity to show each of your kids that you care for them, and this further develops your individual relationships. You can do this when you're physically together by taking your child out for lunch or even to the store on a quick errand that ends with something fun or a treat. If you're not with your kids physically, you can still connect with them each one-on-one by sending messages via email or text to your kids individually. You could also invite them to play online one-on-one games with you in a private forum. This way, you can be doing something fun together while also building that personal connection. 
• Take and Share Photos. When you can't be with your kids all the time, having photos of you together is a nice way to be reminded of each other. Start a brand new photo album of pictures of you and your kids. Since you won't always be with each other, using an online medium to privately maintain your album and share your family photos will be very helpful. Get a couple of these photos printed and framed, and give each of your kids a photo that they can keep at their other house. Even while you can't be together, these photos will keep you connected and in each others thoughts.
• Connect Over Something You Both Like. Being able to relate to your kids via a shared interest is enjoyable for you both. This might be by way of getting excited to see a certain movie or reading the same book. Your special connection over this shared interest will create a bonding opportunity each time you are able to partake in this interest together. If you can't think of anything you both like now, work to find something you can both be interested in. You can even enjoy working on a project together like building a model or making short movies recorded on your smartphone.

Throughout the transition of living under one roof to being spread across multiple homes, being able to maintain that connection with your kids is so important for their well being as well as yours. Taking some time each day to connect will help to grow your relationship into one that is even stronger despite the changes going on around you.