Creating provisions for your parenting agreement

Making the switch from a cohesive family unit into a separated co-parenting situation is an emotional process.  In this transition period, parents are encountering many new and difficult challenges, but the well being of your child must be kept at the forefront of your mind.  When formulating your parenting agreement, creating provisions will help to maintain your individual rights and values as a parent.

Important custody topics in your parenting agreement

 The provisions and stipulations that are discussed in your parenting agreement will help to spell out how your family will function post separation.  As part of your parenting plan, your custody agreement will be thoroughly thought out and arranged to best meet the needs of your child, then of the parents.   In brief, your central agreement will include a definition of legal versus physical custody, a custody or visitation schedule, and a process for when alterations must be made to the custody agreement.  These issues are often required by state law to be incorporated within a parenting agreement, so working with a family law professional to formulate your agreement will help to make sure you tackle each of these important aspects.  

Formulating provisions for your parenting agreement

After you have faced these issues, provisions may be added to your agreement if necessary.  Regardless of where your child is spending their time any given week, provisions in your parenting agreement will help to protect your individual rights and values as a parent.  These will be the rules that you and your co-parent will agree to follow as you continue in your new family layout.  It will be important for both parents to first think about what challenges are faced in the present.  How can parents keep their child’s life as regular as possible with little disruption?  How will your children travel from house to house?  What type of moral environment will you and your co-parent maintain while your child is in each household?  These seemingly obvious topics are very important to discuss as you decide on provisions, so take some time to carefully think through these and address any other anxieties you have to possibly include as part of other provisions. 

When discussing what’s happening now, it is imperative to talk about what concerns you have for the future.  Provisions that may not be relative to your current everyday plan, but you should plan for the “what if” scenarios. What if your child wants to attend a sleepover at a friend’s house during one of your overnights?  What if one parent must move states for work?  What if one parent has a significant other that they would like to bring into the picture?  Whatever the scenarios may be in your family’s situation, creating provisions now to prepare for what could come down the line may help to reduce future stress for you and your co-parent. 

Communication is key

The provisions you discuss and implement may also concern communication witin your family, whether the interaction is parent to parent, or parent to child.  Tools available to families on OurFamilyWizard encourage communication about all aspects of family life within a secure, neutral forum.  While parents have the most access to the features available through the website, your child may use it as a place to interact with both parents via the Message Board and to keep up with their family’s changing schedule on the Calendar.  It is important to keep your child in the loop of your family’s schedule, so if your child is too young to be using their account today, they may wait and begin using it down the line.