1) Saving your marriage
a. Communication with your partner
b. Reducing stress
c. Financial planning and solutions
d. Trying to work it out
2) Put your children first
a. Make sure to spend real, quality time with your kids
b. Don’t put your kids in the middle of conflicts between you and your spouse
c. Don’t use your kids as messengers between yourself and your spouse
3) Legal
a. Finding an attorney for advice and legal services
b. Understanding billable legal hours
c. Pro Se – representing yourself, if necessary
d. Understanding collaborative divorce
e. Mediation services
f. Work out parenting time or access to your children
g. Updated health care directives for yourself and children
4) Financial
a. Amend your W-4 to accommodate a higher rate for single payer taxes
b. Legal Fees
c. Child Support
d. Alimony
e. Know what you own
f. Know what you owe
g. Get copies of important documents and financial statements (W-2, tax returns, etc.)
h. Know your credit history
i. Saving money
j. Plan for retirement
k. Make sure joint accounts are closed
l. Check your insurance coverage and needs
5) Emotional
a. Effect on your children
b. Effect on you
c. Effect on your ex
d. Effect on your family and friends
6) Practical
a. Don’t leave any malicious voicemail
b. Don’t send any malicious emails
c. Keep our children’s need at the forefront
7) Logistical
a. Who is moving out of the house or apartment?
b. What happens to your bank accounts?
c. What happens to your pets?
d. Updating and revising your will
8) Moving Forward
a. Family therapy
b. Individual therapy (for yourself and your kids)
c. Getting a job if you have been out of work, know what your earning potential is.
d. Staying single for a period