Parental Alienation
Psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner first identified parental alienation in the 1980's. Parental alienation syndrome is a more serious form of parental alienation that was presented by Dr. Douglas Darnall. It is a term that many professionals and parents alike have debated over that still remains somewhat controversial. The questions surrounding its validity still remain completely unanswered, however most experts acknowledge the behaviors associated with it as destructive. Mental health professionals can only make diagnosis of parental alienation syndrome.
Basically, parental alienation syndrome refers to the systematic breakdown of attachment between a parent and child. Alienation differs from estrangement in that the child is often manipulated into the separation unjustly and without emotional justification. Estrangement is the result of actual abuse as opposed to an unsubstantiated allegation.
So, what are the considerations used to determine if parental alienation exists or not? Before stating these, it is important to realize that only a qualified professional can truly make these identifications:
- Contact blocking - Simply put, this is the active blocking of contact with the other parent. There are often many excuses offered as justification for the blockage, which can include the child's safety, the other parent's judgment and the child's comfort with the other parent.
- Abuse Allegations - Often times the absent parent is accused of sexual, physical, emotional or mental abuse. Since young children are easily manipulated, these allegations can be very hard to disprove. Often claims of abuse can come out of the blue and are triggered after a disagreement or legal action. These claims can be even more difficult to assess if the abuse is something that cannot easily be identified like physical harm.
- Loss of relationship after separation - If the child and parent had a positive relationship before the separation and now have grown very distant, this can be an indicator of parental alienation.
- Intense fear by children - If the children appear overly afraid to oppose or disappoint the parent. Often the parent in question will make the child feel like if loyalty isn't maintained, the relationship will not be either. This puts the children in the very difficult position of choosing between parents.
Most cases of parental alienation are found in the most high conflict and volatile families. Incidents between parents are greatly escalated when one parent tries to position the child against the other parent. Children can be very easy to manipulate, their sense of right and wrong can be swayed and their perceptions of reality can be made to not represent their own best interest.
"Parental Alienation is about parents who place their own selfish needs above those of their defenseless children and in doing so, they deny them their right to love and be loved by both parents.” Dr. Reena Sommer
“He said/she said” issues can exacerbate problems where the truth is often very difficult to ascertain. This is why many families are being ordered to use the OurFamilyWizard website. The website acts as a conduit for the transmission of information. It can help to remove a lot of the "he said/she said" by creating clear documentation of what was really said and what was not. The records on the site are very clear and can help the family law professionals working with the family reduce the amount of game playing and manipulation of facts.
Here are some books from Amazon that you may find helpful:
For more information check out these resources:
http://www.parentalalienation.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation
http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm
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