Did your commute to work end your marriage?
It is interesting to think that something so small could end a marriage. One Swedish news site published an article recently based on a 15-year study of long commutes to work and the effects that they have on marriage. The article stated that about eleven percent of Swedes have a 45-minute or longer commute to work. The majority of these commuters are men, some having small children and being in a relationship. The article argued that in most Swedish families where the man makes these long commutes to work, the woman is forced to take a less-qualified job closer to home, giving her much more of the household and child care responsibilities. This outcome has been shown to put more stress on these women and also cause them to feel some inferiority towards their partner. The results of the study show that the risk of divorce goes up 40 percent in these situations and the highest risk of divorce is within the first few years of commuting.
According to the study, most people that start commuting to work continue doing so and more than half that travel a long distance to work today have done so for more than five years. Five years also seems to be a wathershed because according to the study, most commuters and their families have managed to adapt to the situation by then. But Sandow adds that they don’t know for certain why that is. “There could be another selection process at work there as well, that the 'weaker' relationships can’t take that kind of strain in the first place,” she said.
It is interesting to view such a simple thing as commuting to work as a “selection process.” One could even argue that the marriages of these commuters who end up going through a divorce within the first couple of years are simply destined to fail. It is possible that the added stress has pushed these couples to their breaking point.
What does this mean for you as a co-parent?
It’s possible that your commute to work put some added stress on your previous relationship, but it is definitely not a deciding factor for divorce. Parenting and marriage are not easy things to manage and the same goes for co-parenting. Even if you are divorced, you may still be putting added stress on your children and your co-parent if you have a far commute to work. The most obvious consequence of a long commute is the loss of time. This can greatly affect the amount of time that you are able to spend with your children and the amount of stress that your co-parent has to deal with. It is almost always in the best interest of your children for you and your co-parent be as involved as possible in their lives.
To read the full story on the The Local, Sweden’s News In English website, follow this link: Long Commutes “Bad for Marriage”: Swedish Study
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