Creating your own holiday traditions after divorce
After a divorce or separation, creating holiday traditions can become very difficult. Both parents want to spend as much time with the children as possible. For this reason, it is a good to create stable patterns that a child can come to depend on. This will require both parents to be flexible and sometimes even the extended family.
Here are some tips that may help your family get through the holidays without conflict and build lasting traditions your children can depend on:
- Make your plans early, so that everyone including the children have clear expectations of what the plan will be.
- Try to be flexible with your ex, keep your children needs ahead of your own.
- Consider rotating holidays, maybe this year you get Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and next year the other parents does.
- Consider celebrating on alternate dates, just because Christmas falls on the 25th every year doesn't mean you can't celebrate it the weekend before with your side of the family. This may make it easier for everyone if you have a large extended family.
- Don't try to re-create the holidays as they were before the split, embrace the new family structure and find a way to make it work.
- If it is not your turn to have the kids on a given holiday, use the opportunity to catch up with friends or family. Don't sit at home and wallow in self pity, take advantage or the fact there are certain things that are easier to do without the kids around.
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