Coping with Changeovers as a Co-Parent
Co-Parenting has proven to be a reliable and consistent method that enables a divorced couple to actively engage and parent children produced from a union; however, co-parenting comes with its own set of problems. These problems can be resolved, and the right advice on co-parenting can make life a lot easier for you and your children.
One of the most complicated situations for many parents and children is changeover day. This is when the child leaves the home of one parent to stay at the other parentís home. Understandably, children and parents alike can find the concept distressing. There are a number of things you can do as a parent to help make changeovers a more comfortable experience.
Handy Hints
Talk to your ex about duplicate items. By keeping the child basics at both addresses, children will feel more comfortable at moving from one spot to another. Pajamas, toothbrushes, blankets, pillows, etc. are all items that can be purchased for both properties.
Talk to your children in advance about the anticipated changeover. This gives the child an opportunity to ask any questions they may have, or to express any reservations about the changeover. Talking about issues in advance can help to ease the mind of you and your child. Helping your child to pack can also provide an opportunity to discuss the matter.
Think of things that you could do with your time once the children are with their other parent. Treat yourself, or complete tasks that would be difficult to do with the kids at home; this will help take your mind away from the absence of your children.
Departure Day
Many co-parents find it easier if they take the children to the other parent, rather than allowing the parent to pick the children up. Arrange a suitable time and stick to it, and if possible, make the set time as regular as the visits. This consistency will contribute a great deal to the well being of your child. Children thrive on structure and routine.
Arrival Day
You may have been looking forward to the arrival of your child, but your child may feel anxious about the whole affair. Again, a little routine and consistency can go a long way towards your childís ability to adapt to a new situation.
- Find a meal that you and your child enjoy together, and make that the first meal of every new arrival period.
- If your child is anxious about being somewhere new, try taking them away from the home, and enjoy a day out on territory that feels a little more familiar.
- If your child is excitable, try settling them down quickly by reading a book or playing a board game together.
- Some children will require space in order to adapt. These situations are often the most difficult for parents, as they feel pushed away by the child. However, giving the child the space they need, along with positive reinforcement and praise whenever possible, you will find in time that the child opens up and warms to the new living arrangements.
The above article is by guest author Scott Morgan, a board certified family law attorney. You can visit his Austin divorce website to learn more about hiring the right Austin divorce lawyer at austindivorcespecialist.com.
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