A concerned dad with a promiscuous ex
Question:
“My ex-wife goes on dates or has men over almost every night. If it is her night with the kids, she will get a sitter or have the men over to the house with the kids there. She has already dated many men and claims, “to be in love” with each one. Each relationship lasts less than three months and then she moves on to the next. She allows these men to spend the night, even when kids are with her. I am very upset and concerned. Yesterday, my son told me he hears them making noise in her room and he does not like waking up with “Mommy’s boyfriend” there. I do not want my son and daughter to learn this kind of promiscuous behavior from their mother. I also not want strange men around my kids. I am calling my lawyer and looking for help.” – The Dad
Reply:
There are many concerns here. First of all, does the mother want to parent your children? She is choosing to spend her time with these men instead of her children in many respects. Depending on parenting plan and schedules, you may want to make some changes and she may be willing to do so. If your relationship is amicable, set a time to discuss this issue with her to find a compromise. If your relationship is strained or you struggle with communication, you will need more help. You will benefit from getting a third party to help communicate your concerns and negotiate a resolution, for example, a counselor, coach, mediator or other neutral party such as Our Family Wizard, a site that offers resources, means for communicating and resolving issues dealing with co-parenting, including high conflict situations.
Obviously, it is best to avoid the court system as judges do not want to make these personal decisions and do not know your family well enough to do so.
Written by: Brigitte Wangberg, M.S., MFT
For more information from Brigitte:
Read Brigitte Wangberg's articles at the Phoenix Blended Family Examiner
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